Craig

A Seminole, Florida native, Craig is a proud Philadelphia Eagles fan, a loyal Miami Hurricanes supporter, and a Phillies fan—but only when they’re winning (a very strategic, low-stress fandom). If the Phillies are bad, Craig suddenly has “been really busy lately” and can’t discuss baseball at this time.

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Craig is a retired powerlifter who has casually squatted over 1,000 pounds multiple times, which explains both his intimidating presence and his complete lack of concern when people argue with him. When Craig disagrees, it’s not really a debate—it’s just everyone else being wrong.

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As an original owner of the league and now entering Year 5, Craig brings veteran status, deep league knowledge, and the quiet confidence of someone who has survived every era of this league… even if the standings don’t always reflect it. He may be retired from lifting, but he’s still here to carry conversations, grudges, and the occasional fantasy matchup on his back.

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Respect the résumé. Respect the squat.