EJ

A proud Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan, EJ is many things—but consistent is not one of them, especially when it comes to college football. His allegiance rotates somewhere between Penn State, Miami, and LSU, often depending on who won most recently. Tracking EJ’s college team is a full-time job, and even he might not know who he’s rooting for by kickoff.

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EJ holds a truly unmatched league résumé: he is the only owner to both lose the Toilet Bowl and win the Championship. Few have known the depths of humiliation and the heights of glory quite like him. When he finished last and had to perform stand-up comedy as punishment, he bravely took the stage… and stole every joke, proving once and for all that originality is optional when survival is on the line.

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An original owner entering his 5th year, EJ brings chaos, adaptability, and elite levels of self-confidence. He’s proof that no matter how bad things get, you can bounce back—especially if you shamelessly borrow material and switch fandoms midseason.